When you meet a stranger and start a conversation you need to build trust as quickly as you can. Here a five proven ways to quickly create empathy and build trust.

Tell them some things about yourself

It’s called ’self-disclosure’ and they could be things like the type of music you listen to, whether you’ve got a pet, and so on. The best way is to tell them stories and experiences that imply what sort of person you are. Just be careful that you’re not seen as bragging about yourself.

Share a small secret

It doesn’t have to be big or embarrassing. But telling them a secret about yourself will send them a signal that you trust them.

Drop hints and sow seeds on the things you want to do or have already planned. Watch and listen to their reaction and use it to determine their hot buttons.

Show them you understand how they feel

Give them empathetic responses to their statements and stories. Say things like “wow, you must have been so excited”; “that sounds fantastic”; “that’s a rotten thing to have happened to you” and so on.

Add a third dimension

As well as looking at them and listening, touch them very lightly and casually on their arm between their shoulder and elbow. Use your finger pads, not your finger tips. Notice if they touch you – we normally touch people we trust and shy away from people we don’t like.

A couple of weeks ago I did a three-hour stint on Graham Torrington’s late night radio show.

Interestingly, the most common question was “how do I get back onto the dating scene after a failed relationship?” Well I think that there are five steps and I’ve written a short article that talks about each one.

It’s in the tips section on my website, or you can just click here.

Did you see the survey of 1,000 women last week on kissing? It was part of the launch of a sensuous new chocolate called Mistletoe Kisses from Galaxy.

86% of women remember their first kiss and many even remember the name of the guy. In fact most women measure you up on the first kiss. If you’re no good, they will go no further.

54% of the women described themselves as slow and loving kissers.

23% said they were full-on and passionate kissers.

10% said they like to tease when they kiss and

5% like to explore.

What sort of kisser are you?

Doing a radio slot next week on kissing. So I thought I’d list the ten most common types of kisses. They are…

* Air Kiss – the celebrity kiss in the air near their cheeks.
* Closed Kiss – kiss with closed mouth on lips, cheek or forehead.
* French Kiss – the soul kiss where you share tongues and breath.
* Lip Sucking Kiss – suck their lower lip.
* Nibble Kiss – nibble their lower lip.
* Moaning Kiss – moan into their mouth as you kiss.
* Sharing Kiss – kiss and share chocolate, soft fruit or wine.
* Lick Kiss – run the tip of the tongue over their lips just before you kiss.
* Upside Down Kiss – chin to nose and nose to chin.
* Hickey Kiss – the classic love bite.

Whichever you do, a good snog is intoxicating.

Enjoy.

Here are my five tops tips to make you a super star at small talk…

* Practise small talk with people you meet in everyday situations such as shop assistants, waiters and strangers on the bus and train.

* Read a lot and watch the news so you have something to say about what’s happening in the world.

* Play where you feel more comfortable. You might find it easier to talk to strangers in a bookshop or coffee shop than a club or bar.

* Don’t drink to help you relax and loosen up. It will only seem dippy.

* Don’t take rejection personally. You can’t expect to hit it off with everyone.

Email me if you want to know more about improving your social skills.

I was asked a strange question the other day… “I keep being told of mythic statistic that claims that after a certain age you will already know (or have in your phonebook) the person you will fall in love with.”

That made me think!

My answer was… “I’ve not heard that one, and I’m not sure they’re already in your phonebook. But I do know you fall in love with a certain type of person – whether it’s their personality, interests, attitude or birth sign. And when you get to a certain age (45ish) you can instantly recognise them.”

This week I’m speaking at the meeting of the Association of European Management Assistants. The subject is Flirting and Body Language and the title of my talk is “Flirting for Success, or how to flirt your way to the top”.

If you want to learn the basic of flirting go to www.thedatingdoctor.co.uk/art/flirting.html

Learn to flirt wickedly, have fun and enjoy!

So what’s a good idea for a first date?

The cinema – an action film or a chick flick, what a dilemma. Or dinner where you might be stuck with an impossible bore for an hour os so.

The best choice is to meet for a drink in the early evening. Then if you really hit it off, suggest you go on for a meal there and then. Being spontaneous is good. And you could always pretend that you were going to meet your mates, and call them to cancel – or is that being wicked?

On 21 & 22 April I’m running a weekend workshop in Nottingham. It’s called “How to Find, Attract & Keep Your One” where you’ll discover the secrets of finding a perfect partner.

You’ll learn where and how to meet your soulmate. How to approach them and look confident and relaxed. How to make small talk, and sound like the interesting person you are. How to flirt and use your body language to make people feel comfortable. And finally, you’ll learn the secrets of seduction.

Life’s too short to miss out. So for details and to book go to www.thedatingdoctor.co.uk/weekend/

I recently did a interview on BBC Radio about a survey that the BBC had just completed on “what makes a woman feel good”.

The THIRD most mentioned thing was being told “I love you”.

The SECOND most mentioned thing was being told “You’ve lost weight”.

And what makes MOST women feel best of all is ‘being chatted up by a stranger’.

Check out my audio file at http://www.thedatingdoctor.co.uk/ to see how to do it!