Five Ways to Build Trust

20 02 2008

When you meet a stranger and start a conversation you need to build trust as quickly as you can. Here a five proven ways to quickly create empathy and build trust.

Tell them some things about yourself

It’s called ’self-disclosure’ and they could be things like the type of music you listen to, whether you’ve got a pet, and so on. The best way is to tell them stories and experiences that imply what sort of person you are. Just be careful that you’re not seen as bragging about yourself.

Share a small secret

It doesn’t have to be big or embarrassing. But telling them a secret about yourself will send them a signal that you trust them.

Drop hints and sow seeds on the things you want to do or have already planned. Watch and listen to their reaction and use it to determine their hot buttons.

Show them you understand how they feel

Give them empathetic responses to their statements and stories. Say things like “wow, you must have been so excited”; “that sounds fantastic”; “that’s a rotten thing to have happened to you” and so on.

Add a third dimension

As well as looking at them and listening, touch them very lightly and casually on their arm between their shoulder and elbow. Use your finger pads, not your finger tips. Notice if they touch you – we normally touch people we trust and shy away from people we don’t like.





Late Night Love

3 12 2007

A couple of weeks ago I did a three-hour stint on Graham Torrington’s late night radio show.

Interestingly, the most common question was “how do I get back onto the dating scene after a failed relationship?” Well I think that there are five steps and I’ve written a short article that talks about each one.

It’s in the tips section on my website, or you can just click here.





Five Tips to Master Small Talk

3 09 2007

Here are my five tops tips to make you a super star at small talk…

* Practise small talk with people you meet in everyday situations such as shop assistants, waiters and strangers on the bus and train.

* Read a lot and watch the news so you have something to say about what’s happening in the world.

* Play where you feel more comfortable. You might find it easier to talk to strangers in a bookshop or coffee shop than a club or bar.

* Don’t drink to help you relax and loosen up. It will only seem dippy.

* Don’t take rejection personally. You can’t expect to hit it off with everyone.

Email me if you want to know more about improving your social skills.





Weekend Workshop

6 04 2007

On 21 & 22 April I’m running a weekend workshop in Nottingham. It’s called “How to Find, Attract & Keep Your One” where you’ll discover the secrets of finding a perfect partner.

You’ll learn where and how to meet your soulmate. How to approach them and look confident and relaxed. How to make small talk, and sound like the interesting person you are. How to flirt and use your body language to make people feel comfortable. And finally, you’ll learn the secrets of seduction.

Life’s too short to miss out. So for details and to book go to www.thedatingdoctor.co.uk/weekend/





Confidence Boost

5 04 2007

I recently did a interview on BBC Radio about a survey that the BBC had just completed on “what makes a woman feel good”.

The THIRD most mentioned thing was being told “I love you”.

The SECOND most mentioned thing was being told “You’ve lost weight”.

And what makes MOST women feel best of all is ‘being chatted up by a stranger’.

Check out my audio file at http://www.thedatingdoctor.co.uk/ to see how to do it!





A Date in Ten

5 04 2007

Believe it or not, one of the girls on Saturday’s Flirting Safari ended up having coffee with a guy she’d met ten minutes earlier.

I took six apprentices (five girls & one guy) into a bookshop to coach them on chatting up strangers. One of the girls approached a guy in the thriller section and ten minutes later they were having coffee together. She ‘broke out’ after 15 minutes with a promise of another date. That’s a win!

Just shows how you could find your one anywhere. Join my Flirting Safari to learn how.

Peter, The Dating Doctor